It has been six years since I traveled to Thailand, a country far, far away. A Facebook memory recently reminded me of the event – the photo that accompanied the memory showed the five of us at the airport waiting to take off on our adventure – the family of four and me. In many ways, we could play the which-one-is-not-like-the-others game with this photo.
Especially in Thailand
Not blending well
I was clearly the oldest. With my white, pale skin, I clearly was not a part of the Thai-Mexican mix involved in the blended family. However, I unwittingly fit in with my gray shirt, which matched all of their gray shirts. I ruined fitting in, though, by wearing a bright yellow shirt underneath my gray one. I clearly was not blending well – smile. I can see all of these things clearly because I wear glasses, and they do not.
Many wonderful things happened on the trip, including a traditional Thai wedding. I also saw many beautiful places and things, including the Grand Palace. I tried new-to-me food, rode a tuk-tuk in Bangkok and a young elephant named Naomi in Phuket, and paid my respects to King No. 9, who had died several months earlier. Along the way, I learned, or rather re-learned, that I definitely don’t blend in – especially in Thailand.
Paying Respects
Missing the crowds
Certain things Pim explained to me before the trip. For example, when going to pay your respects to King No. 9, you must wear nothing but black, even your shoes must be black. The only thing that I had on that day that wasn’t black was my glasses. Because I had been forewarned, I had packed my black-only wardrobe. As it turns out though, if you happened to be in Bangkok to pay your respects to the king and you forgot to wear black, you could buy black clothing outside the palace grounds from any number of street vendors selling all the types of black attire you could possibly need. I’m not really sure where people changed their clothes, but they did. One minute, I saw them with non-black clothing and then the next they were appropriately attired to pay their respects. I ended up adding a black-ribboned pin commemorating King No. 9 to my ensemble – no clothes changing required for that.
As an aside, I will say that black is NOT the best color for a hot June day in downtown Bangkok – even I was sweating and that is a rare occurrence. As we made our way through the security checkpoint showing our respective ID’s, the security guard pointed out that they don’t get many Americans coming through. I expect not, I thought, as I once again didn’t blend in.
We then walked through multiple spaces with hundreds of empty chairs where people could sit while waiting to pay their respects. We went really early on this June day for several reasons. One of which was to miss the crowds, so we didn’t need to use those empty chairs. We were given instructions along the way – of course, they were given in Thai, so I kept close to Pim so that she could tell me what to do and what not to do – like carry my camera case rather than sling it over my shoulder.
Should Be No Rice Left
With little instruction
I could have used some of the same kind of specificity when it came to Pim and Lee’s traditional Thai wedding. Before leaving for Thailand, Pim had let me know that black was not appropriate for the wedding. Not even shoes should be black on this occasion. I followed these directions well by wearing white and blue clothes and silver shoes. However, after the ceremony, as an honored guest, I got to go through the line first, which is bad for someone like me who always observes what other people are doing and then imitates them. I had no one to imitate, so I did the best I could with the little instruction I was given.
I dished some rice into a big bowl and then distributed that rice into the monks’ bowls. If I had known what was going on exactly, I would have divvied up the rice in my bowl in such a manner that I had no rice left at the end of the line. Uh. No one told me that, so embarrassingly, I still had rice in my bowl after having given rice to the monks. I only figured out what I should have done as I took photos of other people going through the line. Oops. Yet again, I wasn’t blending in.
Free for Citizens
Still haven't learned
While we were in Bangkok, Pim wanted me to visit the rest of the royal palace and its grounds, so we walked up to a gate and all the people I was with went through without any problem – even Lee who is not Thai. However, when I started to follow my people, who clearly didn’t look like my people, I was stopped. According to Pim’s translations of the gatekeeper who stopped me, only Thai citizens get access to the palace grounds from that gate. Non-Thai people like me must go to a different gate to pay to enter.
As we walked away from the Angie-can’t-enter gate toward the yes-she-can gate, Lee tells me, “Angie, you’ve got to learn to blend in. Blend, Angie, blend.” I laughed. That’s one trick I still haven’t learned.
Sending you the accepting kind of love for all the times you don’t blend in,
Angela Jane