It’s surprising how many things happen while I’m sitting on my couch minding my own business. This particular event happened a year ago. Ironically, it had to do with my own business.
A Divine Message
Asking a few questions
A year ago, I received a divine message to start Angela Jane’s New Mourning Photography. The message did not include the name of the business, just the idea of it.
After I received the message, I looked up and asked a few questions because like any typical human being, I couldn’t just accept the divine message and act upon it.
First question: Are you sure you picked the right person? You’re really talking to me? Angela Jane?
Second question: Why me?
Third question: Will what I do with my mom’s glasses actually work for someone else and their loved one’s treasured object?
Fourth question: Are you sure?
Fifth question: Me?
Absolute Knowledge
Discovering the message's date
Even though I received clear answers to each of my questions, I still had major doubts on the relative, superficial level – about if the process would work, if I could start and run my own business while I continued to work full time, and if I were enough – talented enough, smart enough, trustworthy enough, compassionate enough, etc.
However, deep down, if I didn’t listen to my ego, who doesn’t like new things and tries to keep me safe from the unknown, I absolutely knew what I had to do. In spite of my superficial doubts, I had to open this business for others and for myself: to provide comfort, to provide joy and to provide healing.
I actually didn’t remember when I received the message, but yesterday I spent the day putting things in order around the house and getting rid of stuff I didn’t need to hang on to. Decluttering unsticks me – "let it go to let it flow." A part of the decluttering was getting rid of my morning journals. I glanced through the one from a year ago – yes, decluttering was way overdue – and saw “grief photography” at the top of one page. I read more and discovered the date of the divine message was Sept. 16 – just a year ago.
Stillness
Asking one more question
Since Sept. 16, 2022, I have asked a couple friends for objects of their loved ones to test the blue ocean waters; I have consulted an advisor from the Small Business Development Center; I have consulted an attorney; I have consulted a friend who is a photographer; and I have, in no particular order, chosen a business name, started a web site through Zenfolio, started blogging, opened a business checking account, gratefully shot some New Mourning experiences for customers, and given myself grace for not being as far along as I thought I would be by now.
As I sit on my couch writing this post and reviewing the year, I embrace the stillness. The chaos of life and of the world swirls around me. On the relative level, I have things yet to do and my mind says, “Here’s the whole to-do list. Let’s get started.” However, on the deeper, absolute level where stillness resides, I find peace. From this level, I see the swirling mess, and I know I can just be. The process is what the process is and the time it takes is the time it takes.
I do have one more question, though. Do I sit on my couch too much or not enough?
Sending you all sorts of gratitude and love for being here,
Angela Jane