“Where is my heart today?” I ask with courage, curiosity and love.
Hearts 101
Adamant Resistance
This “quest”ion had a couple different meanings in April because I had reluctantly registered for Hearts 101, an Escape Adulthood lab. I always know that when I resist an invitation to do something new, when my first response is an emphatic “no” followed by a bunch of excuses, that I need to pause and investigate further that resistance. That adamant resistance is usually an indication that I should do that very thing I’m resisting.
Daily hearts
Daily Messages
So, I started April with a quest to find a heart each day that was meant just for me. As a bonus, that daily heart delivered a daily message – insight into my past, into my healing, into hope for the moment. April’s quest brought me multiple hearts almost every day. The experience was the best when hearts appeared out of nowhere and were able to surprise me in spite of my being on the look out for them. The quest included a bingo card on which I could mark the category of the heart I found each day.
Everyone who knows me well knows I love a good game, so the added bonus to questing for hearts was playing Bingo. While the quest was intended to help my heart and soul to heal, I wanted to win, too. Would I be able to find hearts in enough categories to yell “Bingo!” in April? Would I get more than one Bingo? I had so many questions at the beginning of this quest. What messages would my hearts deliver? Would I be able to hear them? Would this actually work?
This quest was a test – a test of my belief in life that you get what you seek. Did I really want to put that belief to the test? No, not really, but I did so anyway because my desire for amusement and adventure is strong and my faith is stronger.
Daily reminders
Bonus Hearts
Most of the hearts included with this post are my bonus hearts. They are the hearts I found that were not the heart for the day. Nevertheless, they remind me of the capacity that we all have to light up our world with love – no matter the hurt we have felt, no matter the pain we are living in, no matter the losses we have experienced. These hearts from my reluctant quest are the treasures that every good quest has at the end of it. Others might look for priceless gems, valuable metals or buried pirates’ chests, but I suggest you go on a quest that puts your beliefs to the test. If you join with an open heart and open eyes, who knows what insights you will discover?
Here are some of the messages my daily hearts delivered:
For sharing and receiving
Impermanent, Unconditional, and Ever-unfolding
1. Category: Broken (14th Heart Day)
Impermanent Heart
Broken up, broken open, broken inside, broken apart - all the brokens give me an opportunity to take new forms, which bring me new and different adventures. Within broken, I can see inside my heart and listen to its calling. Within broken, I am reminded that all things are impermanent and so my attachment to them is the cause of my suffering. If I look carefully and with compassion, I can see the spaces for light to enter and to exit - all the better for sharing and receiving.
2. Category: Metal (4th Heart Day)
Unconditional Heart
Whether your heart is young or old, whether it is rusty, imperfectly designed or (w)hole, it is made of strength and light. It loves unconditionally. Instead of looking through it, I need to live through it.
3. Category: Folded (3rd Heart Day)
Ever-unfolding Heart
With my heart cracked open, I realize that it is ever-unfolding. With each unfolding that I receive, I see and feel that it is happening for me, not to me.
Just for me
Ever-unfolding and False
4. Category: Wood (2nd Heart Day)
False Heart
As I enter the work parking lot, I notice that I will not be able to park in ANY of the spots I usually do. I scan the lot thinking where am I supposed to go when I can't go where I always do? I follow the path some others did and park just to the side of a tree ahead of me on the berm. I smile as I look at the base of the tree and see a rock heart. Yes! I think. I have been led here to find my heart of the day. I get out of the car with all my stuff and my phone at the ready. I want a closer view for the photo and realize as I do get closer that the rock heart is only a rock, not a heart. I say to myself, "Well, there must be one here somewhere because I was brought here for a reason." I then discover a tiny heart amongst the chips surrounding the tiny tree's trunk. While false hearts can initially be met with disappointment when they aren't what I think they will be, they might just be leading me to a truer heart that is meant for just me.
5. Category: Chocolate (24th Heart Day)
Courageous Heart
On my 24th Heart Day, I had vanilla non-dairy ice cream and chocolate syrup. I was playing with my food (smile), swirling the chocolate with the vanilla when I decided to take the photo at the beginning of this blog. I don't know what you see, of course, but I see "melting" or abstract hearts amongst the "ink blots," but I also see a lion with a mane. He is looking with determination straight at me, saying "take courage and stand in your power." As long as I tune in to the portal of my heart, I'll have the courage and power to be the person I am meant to be, not dimming to fit in, but lighting up with love.
Your own answer
As for mine?
You, of course, won’t necessarily learn what I did – after all, my lessons are for me and yours are for you, but you just might find your own answer to “Where is my heart today?”
As for mine? I realize this month-long quest encouraged me to take breaks more often because living my purpose takes a lifetime, not a season, making it a marathon, not a dash for the finish line. My heart is now free to rest, is joyful and more inclined to dance, and is giving and receiving love in bigger quantities.
I am happy I adventured out on a quest to test my beliefs. I do actually find that which I seek: Bingo x 12! I ended April with a completely covered Bingo card and proof that miracles do happen.
Yours in the quest for hearts and heart-felt insights,
Angela Jane
P.S. If you’d like to read all of my heart messages and see all of my daily hearts, join Kim Kotecki in Hearts 101: a soul’s quest for hope & healing.